A Dog's Life

The life of a dog is a dog's life.

It is pain. It is suffering and grief.

The life of a dog is a dog's life.

Full of fear and gnashing of teeth.

God/dog, dog/god.

Palindromes and dreams of nod.

God/dog, god/dog.

And all I hear leaves me agog.

So lift up a leg to the Hound of Heaven,

to the Great Dog Star in the sky.

Sit up and beg to be forgiven,

and let this sleeping dog lie.

God/dog, god/dog.

It's heady stuff, all cloud and fog.

God/dog, god/dog.

With feet of clay and mind in bog.

The Great Dog Star is our image;

he is made as one of our own.

He doesn't wear clothes and has a wet nose,

and thinks nothing of sucking the bone.

God/dog, god/dog.

Speaks from high: a monologue.

God/dog, god/dog.

In cunning plans, we're only cogs.

The life of a dog is a dog's life.

It is cruel. It is brutal and brief.

The life of a dog is a dog's life.

Thrown a bone to atone like a thief.

God/dog, god/dog.

Like unicorns and golliwogs.

God/dog, god/dog.

A chant easy as falling off logs.

To the Great Dog Star, pay homage.

And croon to a singular moon.

If the night is primal and savage,

obey and bay in good tune.

God/dog, god/dog.

I've seen machine and catalogue.

God/dog, god/dog.

A keen design to whip and flog.

God/dog, dog/god.

It sounds absurd, and awfully odd.

God/dog, dog/god.

Share the word and spare the rod.

So lift up your snout to the Hound of Heaven,

lift up your heart and growl.

Show your respect for the Hound of Heaven,

just throw a ginsberg and howl!

- David Smith White

Friendship of a Dog

The best friend most people have is their dog on your dog for friendship you can depend
Than your ever devoted canine you cannot have a better friend
Your dog will never forsake you he or she will be your friend for life
A dog's love you can rely on far more than the love of your wife,
There are so many stories of dog devotion risking their lives loved ones to save
When people they love are in danger dogs can be unbelievably brave
They've been known to save people from drowning and they've been known to save people from fire
They do not expect reward for their loyalty so much in them for to admire
Yet some do treat their dogs quite badly cruelty to animals is a serious crime
And perhaps for such an offence a good deterrent would be at least a year of jail time
Any dog is not born to be vicious 'tis their masters who make them this way
A cruel owners makes a dog dangerous that does seem a sad thing to say
Since dogs to us can be so loyal your dog to you can be your best friend
Your wife may decide for to leave you but your dog will stay with you till the end.

- Francis Duggan

A Rose By Any Other Dog

I’ve never met a dog named Jacob.

That’s surprising, actually, since Jacob was listed by the Social Security Administration as the most popular boy’s name of 2010. I’ve never met a dog named Emma, either, despite that name’s place at the top of the Most Popular Girl’s Names list. In fact, I can’t find a name in the top 100 that I’ve ever seen applied to a puppy. Ever seen a supper dish with David written on the side? How about Michael? Madison? Ashley?

What’s going on here?

Human names and dog names occasionally overlap – I have a niece named Maggie that shares her name with my sister’s late Labrador – but for the most part, dog names operate on a different set of principles. It takes just a bit of deductive reasoning to determine what those principles are.

For instance, a dog named Spot isn’t all that unusual, which means it’s perfectly acceptable to label a dog based on an aspect of their physical appearance. That doesn’t apply to people. We grew up with a black dog named Midnight, but my parents didn’t name me Schnozzie based on the massive honker that houses my nostrils. I had a human friend we used to call Pus-Head, but that was based more on his cognitive abilities than what his head looked like.

Dog names also tend to define the purpose the dog is supposed to serve. Dogs named “Buddy” or “Princess” fall into this category. I think “Snoopy” probably does too, but I don’t recall Charlie Brown’s beagle snooping very much. I’ve always liked the film Lady and the Tramp because each dog knew their roles based on their names. Lady was a refined lady; Tramp was a tramp. Humans don’t roll that way. Banks aren’t willing to give loans just because the guy’s name is Rich.

Dog name popularity tends to lag behind human names by about 100 years or so. I had a friend named Rufus who was named after his great-grandfather, but he met more dogs with his name than people. Buster Keaton is the last human I know with that first name, but I’ve met more dogs named Buster than you can shake a stick at, which is probably good, because shaking a stick around that many dogs can cause serious problems.

Based on these examples, may I offer the following ten dog names for your consideration:

1. Mudface
2. Barker
3. Mildred
4. Tongue
5. Sniffy
6. Ebenezer
7. Tubbs
8. Fetchums
9. Cornelius
10. Eugene Ionesco (That last one’s a wild card.)

Bottom line: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Just My Dog

He is my other eyes that can see above
the clouds; my other ears that hear above
the winds. He is the part of me that can
reach out into the sea.

He has told me a thousand times over that
I am his reason for being: by the way he
rests against my leg; by the way he thumps
his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he
shows his hurt when I leave without taking him.
(I think it makes him sick with worry when he
is not along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive.
When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile.
When I am happy, he is joy unbounded.
When I am a fool, he ignores it.
When I succeed, he brags.
Without him, I am only another man. With him,
I am all-powerful.
He is loyalty itself.
He has taught me the meaning of devotion.
With him, I know a secret comfort and a
private peace. He has brought me understanding
where before I was ignorant.
His head on my knee can heal my human hurts.
His presence by my side is protection against
my fears of dark and unknown things.
He has promised to wait for me...
henever...wherever--in case I need him.
And I expect I will--as I always have.
He is just my dog.

- Gene Hill

If A Dog Be Well Remembered

"There is one best place to bury a dog.
"If you bury him in this spot, he will
come to you when you call - come to you
over the grim, dim frontier of death,
and down the well-remembered path,
and to your side again.

"And though you call a dozen living
dogs to heel, they shall not growl at
him, nor resent his coming,
for he belongs there.

"People may scoff at you, who see
no lightest blade of grass bent by his
footfall, who hear no whimper, people
who may never really have had a dog.
Smile at them, for you shall know
something that is hidden from them,
and which is well worth the knowing.

"The one best place to bury a good
dog is in the heart of his master."

--- Ben Hur Lampman ---
from the Portland Oregonian Sept. 11, 1925

Cat Stevens: I Love My Dog

When I was lamenting the lack of dog songs in popular music, a friend of mine pointed out that the best one he could find came from a man named Cat.

So, for your Ice Scream Sunday, here it is: